I became a mom at 42 yrs of age and navigating parenthood consciously has been my greatest gift!
If someone was on the fence about coaching, what would you tell them?
It’s beyond powerful. Can never harm you. Brings you face-to-face with your authentic self and deepest desires. Billionaires have coaches. The top-most athletes of the world have coaches. Bad-ass business tycoons have coaches. Even Oprah has a coach. There’s a reason they are where they are. Now ask yourself, why don’t I have one yet?
What excites you most about coaching and the Impact Method?
My passion is to show high-achievers how to beckon an Iconic Life. One that deliberately sharpens their strengths, illuminates inner power and carves a conscious leadership approach so they can step back and enjoy the fruits of their dedication while creating deep impact and living fully.
What is a quote or piece of advice or saying that has made a large impact on you?
“Everything starts with an idea, with imagination.” – Carlos Santana
“If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become truth for you.” -Louise Hay
Why did you become a coach and/or why do you like supporting people in a coaching capacity?
My passion is to show high-achievers how to beckon an Iconic Life that deliberately sharpens their strengths, illuminates inner power and carves a conscious leadership approach so they can step back and enjoy the fruits of their dedication. Nothing gives me more joy than sharing my expertise with other hardworking souls so they can cut through the years of “hope & pray” and get results that are quick and lasting.
What are three words of intention that you want to share for 2022?
-Authenticity, growth, stillness
If someone was on the fence about coaching, what would you tell them?
-I would ask, “What would it cost you if you DIDN’T get support now?!”
Share some interesting personal facts:
-I live with my husband, 2 daughters and golden retriever just outside Zürich in Switzerland, and I grew up in Brisbane and Sydney in Australia. Even though I’ve lived in Switzerland for nearly 20 years, also now have Swiss citizenship, and love it here, I still very much miss everything about Australia! I lived in Japan when I was 23 to improve my Japanese and experience the culture I had loved since I was a little girl. Being in nature gives me so much peace and energy and I absolutely love hiking and biking in the Alps.
What excites you most about coaching and the Impact Method?
-The potential of living our best possible life! Sometimes we simply just need some help to do this, to get out of our ‘stuck-ness’ and move forwards. As both a coach and client, I’ve experienced many magical ‘aha’ moments in sessions. One client described it as fireworks going off!! An essential contributor to these magical moments is the connection between coach and client. When there’s trust, vulnerability, honesty and compassion, the impact of the coaching can be truly transformative!
What are three words of intention that you want to share for 2022?
-Retirement, Grandma, Freedom
If someone was on the fence about coaching, what would you tell them?
-You can do this by yourself, however you will get there faster, more skillfully and confidently with a coach. What will your life be like in a year if you don’t take action now?
Share some interesting personal facts:
-I have been an RN for 40 years, was a Results coach for Tony Robbins, will become a first time grandma in July-baby girl Charlotte Lee, have successfully completed 2 1500 degree barefoot fire walks and a high wire Commitment walk. (Excuse us while we say wow!)
What is a quote or piece of advice or saying that has made an impact on you?
-Where your focus goes the energy flows, Your past does not equal your future, Once you are aware of your limiting belief, you can choose to believe it, reject it or modify it.
What are three words of intention that you want to share for 2022?
-Permission, Truth, Action
Why coaching?
-What could be better than investing in oneself to achieve clarity of goals, greater self-awareness, and the development of an action plan for transformational change? Provide yourself with the permission to take action to be your best, most productive, happiest self. I am passionate about coaching and get excited by the coaching partnership, the client’s self-discovery, and the identification and fulfillment of the client’s goals. I love that the work is honest, direct, and action, and outcome-oriented.
Share some interesting personal facts!
-I am an avid basketball and pickle ball player. -I am a student of rock history and seek out live music at every opportunity. -Family is a big priority for me and I am deeply in love with my wife, two sons, daughter-in-law and granddaughter.
What is a quote or piece of advice or saying that has made a large impact on you?
-How you have learned to be in the world to date is just that…learned. This means that you can also now learn alternative ways of thinking, acting, and being. This process is enhanced through openness, curiosity, and resilience. Trying something new can feel awkward and challenging at first. The key is to be kind to yourself, create permission, reduce self-judgment and increase self-encouragement. This allows you to build momentum and develop healthy new habits and behaviors.
If you’re tired of the same patterns playing out in your current relationship or feel like you always have the same experience from partner to partner, this is for you. Relationships are a major part of life, and yes, that even applies to those who avoid them! They’re also often our greatest teachers; nothing else brings us to our edges quite like love and relating. Successful, loving relationships take heaps of vulnerability, courage, and compassion.
Enter conscious relationships. In some spheres, this has become a buzzy phrase. The rise of figures like Esther Perel speaks to the demand and increase in consciousness around relationships. There are coaches and therapists who specialize entirely in relationships, and more and more couples are discovering what it is to relate consciously and healthily rather than via the old paradigm of simply trying to be with the person who you feel the most chemistry with.
Despite the popularity of conscious relationships, what does it actually mean? Do you know how to relate consciously in a healthy way? Let’s take a closer look. For the sake of this article, we’re referring more to couples conjoined romantically or in life partnerships, but you may find these tips also help with your other relationships. Below are a few tips and insights to make your current or future relationship more conscious and, hopefully, successful.
Fill your own cup first.
What is your intention for getting into a relationship? Remember this: it all starts with you, so you want to make sure you are able to tend to yourself first and foremost. We cannot be reliant upon others (romantic, platonic, or familial) to keep us fully regulated and happy. Now, this does not mean that you must reach some perfect level of “healed” to be ready for a relationship: there is no finish line ever. But what it does mean is that you’re mindful that you don’t get into a relationship to fix yourself and/or fill a void. If this is your reason, it’s unlikely the relationship will ever be healthy. Yes, it’s human to need others and desire physical intimacy (more on that below), but you should also never enter a relationship under the assumption that it will fix whatever is wrong with your life.
Remember: co-regulation.
We are sensitive creatures, highly affected by others’ behaviors and emotions. Naturally, it follows that the behavior and emotions of our patterns affect us in a major way. In any interaction, you’re “co-regulating” whether you realize it or not, and our mirror neurons cause us to often respond and emulate others’ behavior. What is co-regulation, then? Firstly, we look at self-regulation, the process by which we manage and soothe ourselves. Co-regulation happens between two people and is the process where one person’s nervous system calms the other, thereby leading to emotional ease and relief for both. Where am I going with this? Being in a more conscious relationship doesn’t mean you don’t let yourself get upset or have a bad, moody day from time to time. What it does mean is that armed with the knowledge of co-regulation and our tendency to mirror one another, you bring awareness to your behavior when you’re around your partner. Again, we can’t be perfect or feel good all the time, but we can do our best to remember that our behaviors and overall nervous systems affect one another. We can also better notice how we feel around another. Your mind may think you’re with the perfect partner for a number of reasons, but if you notice unease, your body may hold more insight. Click here to read more about co-regulation techniques.
Know when to take space.
In the early stages of a relationship, you may relish doing everything together. While this is certainly a dopamine-drip of fun, know that it’s neither sustainable nor the healthiest way to go about things if your goal is longevity. As with alcohol, food, tv, shopping, etc, relationships can also become something of a drug. It takes a lot of awareness to know your patterns and realize when you’re becoming attached to an unhealthy degree, and this will also vary by relationship. Taking space is critical for your own health, as well as the longevity of your relationship. My tip: have at least 1-2 nights a week (maybe more!) blocked off to do things without your partner. It’ll help you cultivate that relationship with yourself, arguably the most important one of all, as well as give each other space to exist as individuals. If you find that you have a tendency to lose yourself in relationships, cannot stand being alone, or even exhibit signs of codependence, all is not lost! It’s just time to book a call with a coach or therapist to help you break those habits.
Express your sexual desires.
Firstly, if you don’t feel comfortable expressing your sexual desires to your partner, take some time to be with that. Is it because they deride you, or are you simply afraid to be vulnerable? If you don’t feel safe expressing your physical needs in your relationship, it may be time to look elsewhere or at least work with someone who can help you and your partner better communicate those to one another. Chemistry is known to fade throughout time, and there are many people whose entire bodies of work are dedicated to this. What can help ignite a spark is speaking up for what you want sexually rather than falling into the same habits or complacency. See also: take initiative sexually, and if you don’t feel safe to do that, run!
Don’t avoid conflict, but do handle it consciously.
Avoiding conflict is never the answer, and knowing when and how to speak up for our needs is paramount to a healthy relationship and overall emotional state. Learning to handle conflict is part of any relationship. How you handle conflict may differ from your partner, and we are all so informed by how our parents or caregivers handled conflict during childhood. This can be one of the stickiest areas of a relationship. To begin, remember mindfulness and awareness: without these, it’ll be hard to handle any conflict well, period. If you notice that you avoid conflict, your work may be to speak up for your needs. If you notice that you have a tendency to blow up, your work may be to step away from arguments when you notice yourself feeling angry, and perhaps even putting thoughts to paper. Above all, this reminds us that relationship work starts within.
If you’re interested in doing deeper work around relationships, I recommend the following Impact Coaches with a wealth of information: Galia, Sandi, Ashley, and Bina.
Our Topanga, California retreat – which is very lowkey – is another amazing option for couples looking to heal around relationships.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
— Will Durant
Over the years I’ve worked with hundreds of people in some capacity, whether one-on-one as a coach and therapist or in group settings. I’ve worked with major companies to help improve the well-being of their teams (and increase their bottom lines). I’ve lent my ear as a friend for countless hours. And as you can imagine, I’ve gleaned A LOT along the way about human behavior.
So many people come to me looking for a change and wanting to get unstuck. Well, I’m here to tell you that it starts within. It’s challenging work; if it were easy, people wouldn’t pay for it. But when the breakthroughs do happen, it’s linked to habits and behavioral changes. Several key characteristics and tendencies emerge from my studies, research, and personal observation.
Whether they acquired them with work or just happened to have years of healthy habits under their belts, here are some of the standout habits of highly successful people I’ve known.
– They have integrity between their word and what they do.
There are many well-intentioned people out there who are, unfortunately, all talk. It doesn’t matter how many wellness and self-development social media accounts you follow; if you don’t do the damn thing, none of it really matters.
When people’s deeds align with their words, magic happens. Notice if you say one thing and do another. Of course, we don’t always get through every goal and to-do; that’s life. But your actions should align with most of your written and spoken words. If you’re all talk and no action, that’s called being in your bullsh*t. If reading this triggers you or causes you to have an “ah-ha” moment about someone in your life who is all talk, I got you. Coaching is an incredible way to get back on track and have someone hold you accountable in a supportive, no-BS way.
– They aren’t afraid to look at their shadow side/ issues.
Highly successful people aren’t afraid to take good, hard looks at themselves in the mirror – and I don’t mean for looks. This ability to set aside ego and examine oneself, even the gnarly stuff you don’t want to see, stems from that integrity bit I talked about above. A lot of stuck people are drowning in their own bullshit.
– They wake up early.
The early bird gets the worm… and likely has more energy throughout the day. We all exist on different clocks, and some night owls may feel upset by this (nothing wrong with being a night owl, especially if that’s your productive time!). In general, people who wake up earlier have more focus and energy. Mornings are also an amazing time to tune your instrument if you will. Do you claim not to have time for practices like meditation, journaling, or workouts? Use your mornings! Your morning routine helps set the tone for your day. If you wake up and immediately start scrolling, perhaps it’s time to become a bit more mindful.
– They move their bodies daily.
Movement is medicine, period. Countless research points to the benefits of exercise for mental health. In addition, if you have good habits (and integrity), there’s a good chance that some form of movement is already deeply ingrained in your daily life. You don’t have to be a gym rat, folks! Movement might look like hitting the gym, but it can also be dance, tennis, hiking, walking your dog, volunteering in a community garden, and so much more.
